School-Readiness: Send Kindergarteners to School with These Key Social and Emotional Skills

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Aug 3)

FOR ALL PARENTS OF soon-to-be kindergarteners, by now, you’re well-acquainted with all the work that goes into preparing a child for school. Kindergarten readiness has long been associated with the ABCs and 123s, and understandably so. Mastering skills such as being able to count and recite the alphabet, and knowing one’s shapes and colors all serve to lay a strong foundation for reading, writing and arithmetic.

That said, it’s worth noting that an ability to develop and maintain relationships has recently been added to this list of so-called IQ skills. Its addition makes clear that social and emotional skills, along with several other skills often misleadingly described as “soft” and “non-cognitive,” are now being acknowledged as critical when it comes to school readiness.

Honing the ability to focus and pay attention, be a good listener, share, take turns and play nice with others may seem like common sense. Yet these types of “other” skills are now collectively being recognized to be of equal, if not greater importance, than IQ skills by everyone from educators, pediatricians and neuroscientists to economists, entrepreneurs and business leaders.

With that in mind, it’s important as the new school year begins that parents integrate teaching kids what I like to refer to as QI (think positive “life force”) skills as well, while helping them develop as students. This is something that you’ll want to do, of course, not just before their first day, but as they continue to grow and develop, both in the classroom and outside of it. Here’s a breakdown of QI skills – which I’ve also outlined in my book “The Toddler Brain” and my children’s book, “Jumping Into Kindergarten you’ll want to be sure to encourage and cultivate: ….

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Biting: What To Do When Toddlers Bite

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Dec 11)

A CONCERNED MOTHER recently reached out to a large virtual support group of fellow moms to seek advice regarding a distressing incident involving her young child. She described all sorts of challenges that commonly face working moms today, from the adjustment involved in heading back to work to all-important considerations regarding child care. But at the heart of this particular discussion was a subject that I have long found to be of universal interest to parents and others who take care of young kids: biting.

The virtual response this mom got to her tale of woe was impressive: Hundreds of other moms weighed in, sharing their own biting experiences, insights and frustrations. As I’ve found over several decades interacting with young children and their caregivers, biting can become the bane of a parent’s existence – whether you’re upset your child has been bitten, or the frustrated parent of a biter.

To tackle this issue, I’ve found it most useful for everyone involved to step away from the particular situation at hand – at least for a moment – and start with a clear understanding of what biting does, and doesn’t, represent.

The best way I’ve found to explain it is that biting happens to be the least socially acceptable of all of the predictable and developmentally normal behaviors of early childhood. The thought of one child trying to take a bite out of another child has come to be perceived as far more distasteful than, say, hitting, pinching, pushing, kicking, shrieking or any of a whole host of less-than-desirable toddler behaviors. There’s something about the discovery of a human bite mark on one’s child that parents find especially disturbing. However, a young child’s predilection to bite both friends and foes isn’t abnormal.

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Books and Young Children – 5 Reasons You Should Read Aloud to Your Kids

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Aug 17)

WHAT IF I WERE TO START this blog post with the phrase, “In a great green room…,” ask you what the brown bear sees, or simply inquire as to what very hungry caterpillars eat? I’m willing to bet that most of you, as parents (not to mention grandparents, child care providers and early educators), would be able to finish the sentence and answer the questions without pause.

I imagine that for many of you, these ever-so-simple references would likely also conjure up the colorful images and happy memories that tend to go hand in hand with reading such beloved children’s books as Margaret Wise Brown’s, “Goodnight Moon;” or “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” written by Bill Martin, Jr. and illustrated by Eric Carle; and “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” written and illustrated by Carle. Yet all too often, I find that discussions about early literacy move away from what we all know and love about the experience of reading aloud with young children, and towards the more literal, academic advantages. That includes getting kids familiar with “sight words” – or commonly used words kids are encouraged to memorize, or know on sight; teaching them the sounds of letters; and all of the various other nuts and bolts of learning to read.

That’s not to say efforts focused on promoting early literacy and helping young children make the necessary connections between sounds, letters and words are without benefit. After all, learning to read affords children the ability to spend the rest of their lives reading to learn. There is no question that reading aloud with young children can facilitate their learning their ABCs and help set them up for reading and life success.

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Parenting & TED: Key Parenting Takeaways From the TED2017 Conference

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (May 5, 2017)

AS ONE OF ONLY A FEW pediatricians at last week’s TED2017 conference in Vancouver, British Columbia, I want to let you in on a little secret I’m fairly sure most parents and conference attendees don’t know: The TED conference is actually a parentingconference.

Sure, influential people from around the globe gather to hear thought-provoking talks delivered on “the world’s largest stage.” But when you get right down to it, the 90-plus carefully curated talks collectively paint a picture of the world in which our children will live.

It is this glimpse into what the future holds for our kids that makes TED especially relevant to parents. Whether you’re the world’s greatest female athlete sharing thoughts on becoming a parent (as Serena Williams did), or a parent on the go, what unites us is our shared hopes and dreams for our children. The legacy we leave will depend on how well we prepare our children to live healthy, meaningful and productive lives in a rapidly changing, complex world. This makes parents the people most in need of knowing the direction in which the world is headed. Ironically, we are also the least likely to have enough spare time to watch a 15-minute video online. That’s why I’m so compelled to share a handful of key parenting takeaways from TED2017…

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Starfish & Mittens: Helping Teach Our Children Kindness and Empathy

As you are probably well aware, my focus is and always has been on kids, parenting, and families. Quite often – whether in the books I write or at my childcare center – this translates into helping parents better understand, educate, and guide children towards happier, healthier futures.

Today is no different. In fact, I was halfway done writing my Live Well Nebraska blog in honor of National Children’s Dental Health Month, a topic I truly believe should be hugely important for all parents – perhaps more so than many are even aware.

As is often the case when I’ve promised myself I’m not going to be distracted while writing, however, I’ve found myself distracted. As soon as I opened my web browser with what I swear was for work purposes only, I saw a top-of-the-page CNN video entitled Children of the Trash Dump. These kind of titles always lure me in, and I’ve never been able to keep from clicking on the links and watching the videos. When I do, it inevitably solidifies my desire to do more to improve the lives of children and their families. Today, my conviction was made stronger than ever.

You see, I’m fresh on the heels of a very powerful trip to S. Africa, during which I had the opportunity to tour the makeshift shantytown of Dunoon just outside of Cape Town, where I witnessed firsthand both the terrible poverty and incredible resilience of its women and children. I left there more determined than ever to do something. I imagine watching CNN’s story about the plight of Vietnamese children living on a trash dump and at great risk of falling prey to child trafficking may have nearly the same effect on some of you.

The question that often arises, however, is what can one really do to tackle such a huge problem or even make a dent in such desperate situations as poverty, child trafficking or illiteracy. In the case of S. Africa, I joined about fifteen other members of the Global Hygiene Council to see firsthand the incredible power of teaching basic handwashing. Sure, I talk about handwashing all the time, and yes – we teach the students at my childcare center this basic life skill on a daily basis. But calling it a “life skill” has a way of taking on a very different meaning when one is teaching handwashing in a community with little running water and barely able to scrape together the dollar per week it costs to buy one’s family a bar of soap.

The hopeful news in Dunoon is that the four-year handwashing study conducted in the face of both poverty and health illiteracy yielded very promising results – on the order of reducing diarrheal illness by 30-50 percent! Those results would be great even here in Omaha, where parents inevitably are plagued by diarrheal illness and fret over the accompanying need to keep their children from becoming dehydrated. Now consider the fact that diarrheal disease worldwide is one of the leading causes of death for children . That’s why I’m now dead serious about finding a way to donate to the Dunoon community as much soap as I can get my hands on (along with books and beads). If you’re interested in helping me make this happen, by all means let me know.

But back to the children in Vietnam. The “hope” part of the story promised in the video’s promo is based on one woman’s vision to set up a non-profit to fight trafficking in Vietnam. This small organization is currently educating 200 of these poorest-of-the poor girls in hopes of giving them a chance for a better future and a better likelihood of avoiding predatory child traffickers. The visionary founder interviewed in the segment not only refers to the hugely important focus on “saving” girls through education, but also touches on the importance of improving the community’s reported illiteracy level from it’s staggering 99+ percent.

Let me just say that I couldn’t be more touched, or more in agreement. I thoroughly agree that education and literacy is fundamentally important and the key to helping people out of poverty and lead more successful lives. I’ve also become increasingly convinced with the notion that the education and empowerment of girls is absolutely key to solving not only poverty, but quite honestly – a good many of the world’s problems.

If you don’t believe me, then maybe you’ll believe Oprah. Or Hillary or Bill Clinton. Or pretty much anyone who has ever read Nicholas Kristof’s powerful book Half the Sky. Those who read it are likely to be permanently changed in the way they view the importance of girls, ready to join this global movement, and all but insist that everyone needs to read this book.

And finally – I am a huge believer in the power of doing something over nothing. You may have heard the anecdote of the boy and the starfish. It goes like this: a man and a boy are walking on a beach littered with washed-up starfish. Boy picks up starfish and throws it back in the ocean. Man sees this and applies the all-too-common viewpoint when he tells the boy that there are far too many washed up starfish to possibly save them all. Boy responds, “Well, I made a huge difference to that one.”  I love this story. I try to live by it. Clearly, so do the people whose far nobler efforts are recounted in Kristof’s book and CNN’s poignant video. The point is, every human being counts, and each and every one of us can do something to help those less fortunate than ourselves.

At Primrose, my teachers have t-shirts that state, “No matter how big or small, we all stand to make a difference in the world.” My husband and I were convinced to move to Omaha nine years ago in large part because we believe that here in Omaha, we are not alone in our belief that teaching even our youngest children to be involved in the community and help others is fundamental. And our Helping Hands curriculum isn’t just about the actual dollar amount the kids raise to donate, or about how many mittens, books or cans of food they collect “for kids who don’t have them” (although I’ll tell you that I couldn’t be more proud of the students for their selfless and impressive accomplishments). It’s that they’re learning the lifelong lesson that we really can make a difference if we all just take whatever opportunity we have to throw starfish back into the ocean.

With that said, I hope all of you will consider what you might do. Start big or start small. Think globally or act locally. Get your kids involved and I promise, the world will be a better place for it.

On that note, I’ll get back to writing about getting kids to brush their teeth. After all, teeth are really important too. And even pink princess toothbrushes can play a part in the grand scheme of oral health promotion.

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska

I admit it – I do well with resolutions. I truly believe that people tend to accomplish more when they have a set goal in mind. I personally love to rise to a challenge, and find that setting a formal (and preferably public) goal definitely has a way of bringing out one’s competitive nature.

So when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I have to say I’m a believer. As someone dedicated to promoting health and safety year-round, I obviously think it’s important to set goals throughout the year. But if ushering in a new year happens to give you an increased sense of motivation, then by all means, run with it because now is the perfect time to shift gears from helping your children create holiday wishlists to helping them (and you) focus on setting some realistic family goals that are sure to deliver on the promise of an even happier, healthier 2012.

Okay, so what’s the best way to figure out what one’s family goals should be? While each of your family members’ individual resolutions can be customized according to age, ability, and circumstance, I figured it might be helpful to get you started by offering you some simple family-friendly resolutions – you know, those completely do-able resolutions that don’t seem nearly as challenging as, say, signing up for a gym membership in January only to lack the willpower come March to make use of it. Or running a marathon. While there’s nothing wrong with either of those resolutions (I’ve made them both myself in years past), there’s nothing wrong with first reaching for the “low-hanging fruit” resolutions that are sure to give your family both a sense of accomplishment and a big bang for your buck when it comes to improved healthy, safety and well-being.

–       Walk more. That’s right, walk more. Around the block, to the grocery store, with friends, on the treadmill – wherever and whenever you can. Running is fine, too. But if that seems a bit daunting or impractical, the important thing for kids and adults alike is to be more active in 2012. As someone who just placed my own order for a FitBit, let me add that if you and/or your children are more likely to put their best foot forward with a concrete goal (or a cool new gadget), then using a pedometer may prove to be just what it takes to get up and get going.

–       Sleep more. You see – I told you these resolutions would be attainable, if not downright desirable. I mean, who doesn’t want to sleep more? But as a pediatrician married to a surgeon and therefore accustomed to dealing with the demands of both professional schedules and with the many sleep-related challenges of parenthood, I fully understand why most of us simply don’t get enough sleep. I have also become increasingly impressed with how important sleep is to one’s overall health. So whether it’s an improved bedtime routine for babies or toddlers, taking/keeping the TV set out of your child’s bedroom, keeping tabs on your teenager’s sleep habits or simply placing more value on your own sleep needs – I strongly recommend it.

–       Read more. Daily, whenever possible. Not just for work, not just when your kids are required to, but for fun. Read aloud to your kids. Read quietly alongside them.  Make a point of reading the newspaper. Encourage your tweens or teens to start reading it too. Read on paper or in any electronic form you choose. Regardless of what angle you take, resolving to read more will enrich your family’s new year.

–       Drink more. Water, that is. Just back from a recent trip to NY where I discussed water as a key aspect of health, hydration, and tackling the obesity epidemic with a wide range of magazine editors, I decided to toss it in my resolution list. It’s not just because I think drinking more water is the one and only solution to better health, but because it strikes me as such an easy one once you and your family set your minds to it. The goal in encouraging more water consumption in large part actually relates to getting everyone (kids and parents alike) to drink less soda, less juice, and less sugary liquids in general. If your family is not in the water-drinking habit, consider committing to milk with meals and water with snacks, and making water more appealing by filtering it (typically tastes better), bottling it (re-usable water bottles are both convenient and better for the environment), or simply adding some natural flavor (a wedge of lemon/lime or even a slice of cucumber!).

–       Engage more. Social networking now seems to be the key to everything from successful weight loss to professional success. Yet one of the things we risk in what is sure to be an increasingly wired (or wireless) 2012 is the lack of meaningful, personal engagement with others in our community. That’s why I firmly believe that all families should set a goal of teaching their children to more actively engage and become contributing members of society. Taking some lessons from the Helping Hands curriculum at my child care center, this can be as simple yet meaningful as having even very young children visit the Humane Society or a local retirement home; send letters of thanks to those serving in the military; and/or collect mittens, books, pennies, diapers, coats or cans of food for those less fortunate. Whatever you choose, remember that one of the most powerful lessons we stand to teach our children (and live by ourselves) is that it is our meaningful connection with others that brings the most happiness.

–       Laugh more. At yourself, with your kids….the point is that while resolutions can be a good way to improve one’s health, it’s just as important to make sure that stress doesn’t get the best of you. I’ve found the best way to do this is to remember to laugh, and always remind yourself of how fortunate you are to have your family, your friends, your health, and the gift of another year.

On that note, I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a very happy, healthy and accomplished new year. I’ll look forward to sharing 2012 with you and everyone in the Live Well Nebraska community.

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska

An alternative to Valentine’s Day chocolate: reasons to dance your heart out!

Valentine’s Day is undeniably all about love and sweethearts. It’s also defined by the heartfelt gifts of chocolates, sweets and (candy) hearts so plentiful this time of year. Now it’s not that I think we need to do away with all of these sweet gifts in lieu of a more heart-healthy approach to Valentine’s Day. But it has occurred to me that this holiday could mean so much more when it comes to finding ways for our loved ones to have happy hearts.

To get you one step closer to achieving this goal, I’d like to suggest that you, your kids, and your sweetheart all get up and dance. That’s right…dance! There are several reasons why you and your family should put your best foot forward and get up and start dancing.

It’s Fun. Regardless of age, who doesn’t like putting on some music and just letting loose? The good news is that regular physical activity throughout the day (which could easily include dancing), improves sleep, reduces stress, and overall makes people feel better about themselves. So just break out those dancing shoes (and your toddler’s skid-free socks and tutus) and start dancing. For some added fun – grab your video camera and capture the moment(s). No rules, just fun.

It’s Exercise. I imagine you don’t need me to tell you that we’re in the middle of a nationwide childhood (and adult) obesity epidemic. The beauty of dancing is that it’s not work, it doesn’t require committing to regular trips to the gym, and it doesn’t cost a thing to break a sweat. Yet don’t let this lack of requirements deceive you into thinking it’s not exercise. In fact, First Lady Michelle Obama’s national Let’s Move! Campaign actively promotes the need for kids to get 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous active play every day. After all, when they (and you) simply get moving (or dancing!), it all adds up to building and keeping healthy bones, muscles and joints and achieving a healthy body weight.

It’s Quality Family Time. Whether you opt for a daddy-daughter dance, a dance contest, or a more freestyle approach to your family’s dancing, it all adds up to the potential for quality family time. With the hectic pace of parenthood and often over-scheduled childhood that defines the times, I would argue that protected quality time with the family – at the dinner table, during conversations with your child in the car, and when sharing fun family activities like dancing together – is invaluable.

And now for my timely and heart-warming news. As many of you may already know, in addition to being a pediatrician, I also own an educational childcare center – Primrose School of Legacy – located in West Omaha. As one of over 200 franchised centers across the country, I am particularly proud to share with you that from February 1st through March 19th, all your heart-felt family dancing can be for a very worthy cause! That’s because Primrose Schools is hosting the 2nd Annual National Family Dance-off Contest. This fun family-oriented dance-contest is open to all families and benefits the Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. By simply uploading a 30-second video of your family’s most creative, unique, or amusing dance moves at www.FamilyDanceoff.com and/or making sure that you and everyone you know votes each day for your favorite Omaha video, you could be one of 14 weekly contest winners who receive a flip video camera and up to $5000, while also winning Children’s Hospital and Medical Center a chance at receiving a $15,000, $20,000, or even $30,000 donation from Primrose Schools!

Simply put, I want to see Omaha families and children getting healthy by eating healthier, getting up and moving, and dancing. And through March 19th, I more specifically hope you all will be dancing to win, not only for yourselves, but for Omaha’s Children’s Hospital and Medical Center. I guarantee you it will do your body, your family, and your heart some good!

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska

Giving Thanks: Things the Whole Family Can be Thankful For

I bought my turkey this past weekend. Not only did I buy it, but I even took a moment to think about how thankful I am for it. Sure I’m thankful because I love turkey, but also simply because I am fortunate enough to be able to afford a turkey. As a parent, I know full well that taking a simple weekend task like grocery shopping and turning it into a shared reflection on what our family has to be thankful for is likely to lead to some eye-rolling from my tween- and teenage children.

But the fact of the matter is that there’s no better time than the present (i.e. Thanksgiving week) to take a few moments – whether waiting in line at the grocery store or gathered with family and friends around the Thanksgiving table – and reflect on those things in your life for which you’re truly thankful. While trips to Disneyland, ipods, and the latest greatest toddler toys will understandably spring to mind first, I suggest you challenge your children, and yourself, to dig deeper. As a pediatrician and parent, I figured I’d get you started by sharing some of my own, all-too often taken for granted things to be thankful for.

Breathing through your nose. Spoken like a true pediatrician, right? But years of tending to snotty nose colds (my own, my children’s, and others’) has taught me that it’s hard to take time to stop and smell the roses if you can’t breath through your nose. You may think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Just think how many times your child’s (or your own) stuffy nose cold has kept you up at night and caused you misery. Instead of being frustrated by the annual average 6-10 colds that kids catch each year and the fact that we still don’t have a cure for the common cold, I suggest that we all remember to be grateful for each day that we wake up healthy.

Shots. I figure while we’re on the subject of waking up healthy, I’d take this opportunity to give my thanks to modern medicine and all of the medical pioneers that have given us vaccines. No, I’m not a huge fan of needles, and neither are my children. But I have such a healthy respect for the dreadful diseases we are now able to prevent by simply making sure that our children’s (and our own) immunizations are up-to-date that I count each and every shot a blessing, needles and all.

Car Seats. As someone who had 3 kids in just over 3 years – the youngest of whom only just outgrew the need for a car seat at age 10 – I am certainly aware of the parental challenges inherent in the purchasing, installing, and juggling of car seats, especially during holiday travel season. Yet despite having spent every day of the past 10 years overseeing the use of numerous seats of my own, I’m exceedingly grateful for the fact that car seats even exist, much less that they are so incredibly effective in protecting kids from harm. With nothing more important than my children’s health and safety, car seats (and all those who contribute to making sure that children are secured safely) deserve my thanks.

Cell Phones. Yes, I do have tween- and teenage children of my own. And yes, I do face the daily parental challenge posed by a world now dominated by texting tots and teens and threatened by everything from cyberbullying to sexting. But having just returned from a mobile health summit in Washington DC, I am now very, very grateful for cell phones. World thought leaders the likes of Bill Gates, Director of the National Institutes of Health Francis Collins, and the president of the Rockefeller Foundation joined over 2500 attendees from around the world who all share the belief that cell phone technology is the tool by which we will be able to reach the world’s poorest and provide them with access to better health.

Here in the United States, innovative programs like text4baby are making use of the ubiquitous nature of cell phones to put valuable health information and access to local resources right at the fingertips of pregnant women and new moms.

While I will absolutely not be thankful for any cell phones that make their way to my family’s Thanksgiving table, I will nevertheless be grateful that they exist, not just to make my life easier, but improve the health and well-being of those less fortunate than me.

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska