Toddlers and Furniture Tip-Over Risk

The combination of toddlers and furniture such as dressers and bookshelves that are not properly secured can make for a particularly concerning and potentially dangerous combination. That’s why I was more than happy to share some parenting and “toddler brain” insights with Consumer Reports’ Rachel Rabkin Peachman about this very important safety topic.

Nov 5, 2018 by Rachel Rabkin Peachman

After her 2-year-old son, Shane, died from a furniture tip-over in 2011, Lisa Siefert started attending health fairs and other events to hand out furniture wall anchor kits – delicate-looking hardware packaged like picture hooks that are meant to secure furniture to walls.

She was tormented by the idea that families with small children didn’t know about this hidden tip-over danger in their homes. So spreading the word became her life’s work. Now, six years after……(read more)

Sleep Challenges: Parenting advice on what to do when toddlers fight their “day sleep”

As part of Australia’s Kinderling Radio Conversation for Parents series, I had the pleasure of sitting down with parenting radio host extraordinaire, Shevonne Hunt and discussing a topic I have found to be of near universal interest to parents of young children.  Tune in and listen to this 16 minute discussion of sleep insights, strategies and practical parenting tips

School-Readiness: Send Kindergarteners to School with These Key Social and Emotional Skills

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Aug 3)

FOR ALL PARENTS OF soon-to-be kindergarteners, by now, you’re well-acquainted with all the work that goes into preparing a child for school. Kindergarten readiness has long been associated with the ABCs and 123s, and understandably so. Mastering skills such as being able to count and recite the alphabet, and knowing one’s shapes and colors all serve to lay a strong foundation for reading, writing and arithmetic.

That said, it’s worth noting that an ability to develop and maintain relationships has recently been added to this list of so-called IQ skills. Its addition makes clear that social and emotional skills, along with several other skills often misleadingly described as “soft” and “non-cognitive,” are now being acknowledged as critical when it comes to school readiness.

Honing the ability to focus and pay attention, be a good listener, share, take turns and play nice with others may seem like common sense. Yet these types of “other” skills are now collectively being recognized to be of equal, if not greater importance, than IQ skills by everyone from educators, pediatricians and neuroscientists to economists, entrepreneurs and business leaders.

With that in mind, it’s important as the new school year begins that parents integrate teaching kids what I like to refer to as QI (think positive “life force”) skills as well, while helping them develop as students. This is something that you’ll want to do, of course, not just before their first day, but as they continue to grow and develop, both in the classroom and outside of it. Here’s a breakdown of QI skills – which I’ve also outlined in my book “The Toddler Brain” and my children’s book, “Jumping Into Kindergarten you’ll want to be sure to encourage and cultivate: ….

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Kinderling Radio Interview: What to do when toddlers fight their day sleep

As part of Australia’s Kinderling Radio series, “Kinderling Conversations for Parents,”  I recently had the pleasure of once again getting to sit down in Sydney with radio host extraordinaire, Shevonne Hunt for a heart-to-heart discussion about the ever-important parenting topic:  young children and their (sometimes challenging) sleep habits.  Feel free to tune in and listen to this 16 minute discussion.

Biting: What To Do When Toddlers Bite

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Dec 11)

A CONCERNED MOTHER recently reached out to a large virtual support group of fellow moms to seek advice regarding a distressing incident involving her young child. She described all sorts of challenges that commonly face working moms today, from the adjustment involved in heading back to work to all-important considerations regarding child care. But at the heart of this particular discussion was a subject that I have long found to be of universal interest to parents and others who take care of young kids: biting.

The virtual response this mom got to her tale of woe was impressive: Hundreds of other moms weighed in, sharing their own biting experiences, insights and frustrations. As I’ve found over several decades interacting with young children and their caregivers, biting can become the bane of a parent’s existence – whether you’re upset your child has been bitten, or the frustrated parent of a biter.

To tackle this issue, I’ve found it most useful for everyone involved to step away from the particular situation at hand – at least for a moment – and start with a clear understanding of what biting does, and doesn’t, represent.

The best way I’ve found to explain it is that biting happens to be the least socially acceptable of all of the predictable and developmentally normal behaviors of early childhood. The thought of one child trying to take a bite out of another child has come to be perceived as far more distasteful than, say, hitting, pinching, pushing, kicking, shrieking or any of a whole host of less-than-desirable toddler behaviors. There’s something about the discovery of a human bite mark on one’s child that parents find especially disturbing. However, a young child’s predilection to bite both friends and foes isn’t abnormal.

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Kids & Cars Seats, Why Safety Shouldn’t Take a Back Seat When You Fasten in Your Kids

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Sept 22)

THIS WEEK HAPPENS TO BE Child Passenger Safety Week – a week specifically dedicated to ensuring that parents, as well as anyone else who transports children, use the correct car seat and properly buckle kids in each and every time children ride in motor vehicles.

As a pediatrician with 15 years of experience being a child passenger safety technician and instructor, I am most definitely a fan of this week-long focus. That’s because the stakes are high when it comes to buckling kids in properly. Motor vehicle-related injuries continue to be a leading cause of death for children in the U.S.; and buckling up is the best way to save lives and reduce injuries. Child safety seats, when used correctly, can reduce the risk of death by as much as 71 percent, according to SafeKids.org.

Yet, despite all we know about the importance of passenger safety, nearly three-fourths of cars seats are still not being used or installed correctly.

Adding to this problem is a second challenge that’s by no means exclusive to car seats, but which stands to seriously thwart our collective efforts to keep our children safe in them. I’m talking about the culture of “mommy-shaming.”

Consider the photo that just a few months ago managed to capture the attention of the parenting world. The photo I’m referring to wasn’t just any picture shared by any mom. It was a snapshot of the then 18-month-old son of pop culture royalty Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. It also just so happened to be a shot of a not-yet-2-year-old strapped into a car seat that was facing forward, rather than rear-facing seat as generally recommended for a child of this age.

The parenting and media response was fast and furious. While the virtual dust has settled, I still feel the need to weigh in on a couple lingering aspects of this cause celebre.

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Books and Young Children – 5 Reasons You Should Read Aloud to Your Kids

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (Aug 17)

WHAT IF I WERE TO START this blog post with the phrase, “In a great green room…,” ask you what the brown bear sees, or simply inquire as to what very hungry caterpillars eat? I’m willing to bet that most of you, as parents (not to mention grandparents, child care providers and early educators), would be able to finish the sentence and answer the questions without pause.

I imagine that for many of you, these ever-so-simple references would likely also conjure up the colorful images and happy memories that tend to go hand in hand with reading such beloved children’s books as Margaret Wise Brown’s, “Goodnight Moon;” or “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” written by Bill Martin, Jr. and illustrated by Eric Carle; and “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” written and illustrated by Carle. Yet all too often, I find that discussions about early literacy move away from what we all know and love about the experience of reading aloud with young children, and towards the more literal, academic advantages. That includes getting kids familiar with “sight words” – or commonly used words kids are encouraged to memorize, or know on sight; teaching them the sounds of letters; and all of the various other nuts and bolts of learning to read.

That’s not to say efforts focused on promoting early literacy and helping young children make the necessary connections between sounds, letters and words are without benefit. After all, learning to read affords children the ability to spend the rest of their lives reading to learn. There is no question that reading aloud with young children can facilitate their learning their ABCs and help set them up for reading and life success.

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Parenting & TED: Key Parenting Takeaways From the TED2017 Conference

Originally posted on my US News & World Report parenting blog (May 5, 2017)

AS ONE OF ONLY A FEW pediatricians at last week’s TED2017 conference in Vancouver, British Columbia, I want to let you in on a little secret I’m fairly sure most parents and conference attendees don’t know: The TED conference is actually a parentingconference.

Sure, influential people from around the globe gather to hear thought-provoking talks delivered on “the world’s largest stage.” But when you get right down to it, the 90-plus carefully curated talks collectively paint a picture of the world in which our children will live.

It is this glimpse into what the future holds for our kids that makes TED especially relevant to parents. Whether you’re the world’s greatest female athlete sharing thoughts on becoming a parent (as Serena Williams did), or a parent on the go, what unites us is our shared hopes and dreams for our children. The legacy we leave will depend on how well we prepare our children to live healthy, meaningful and productive lives in a rapidly changing, complex world. This makes parents the people most in need of knowing the direction in which the world is headed. Ironically, we are also the least likely to have enough spare time to watch a 15-minute video online. That’s why I’m so compelled to share a handful of key parenting takeaways from TED2017…

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Screen Time: A Reality Check on “Reality TV”

As someone who spends most of my waking hours dedicated to finding and promoting the best ways to raise children to be happy, healthy, well-educated and successful adults, I feel compelled to say that reality television is definitely not it. I realize that this sounds dangerously close to stating the obvious, but I would argue only in the same way as pointing out that the emperor is, in fact, not wearing any clothes.

To make use of language from the reality TV lexicon, “at the end of the day” what we now have – for better or for worse – is an immensely popular and pervasive form of television that is so far from reality that it begs the question of why on earth we still call it reality TV.

At this point, I should clarify that it’s not like reality TV only recently just hit my television screen for the first time. Having all but taken over the airwaves since it first burst onto the scene in the early 1990’s in the form of MTV’s The Real World, it has since invaded my home just as predictably as it likely has yours. It’s bad enough that grown adults (myself included) find it hard to look away. What concerns me even more is that “reality” television is working against us as parents, unless you happen to firmly believe in excessive drinking, lying and deceit, premarital sex, frivolous spending, catty fist fights, racist and/or sexist remarks and worse. Scoff if you like, but reality television is making these behaviors seem commonplace, and thus providing a terrible filter through which our children are learning to see the world.

Now I’m not the first (or the last) to note irony in the fact that we persist in using such a blatant misnomer to describe the genre. But I felt particularly compelled to share my mounting concerns when the admittedly hard-not-to-watch Bachelor franchise decided to have the admittedly suave bachelor-du-jour surprise his legions of fans at their new-season viewing parties. In case you missed the episode, there were plenty of 20-something women glued to their sets, and they predictably squealed and swooned with cameras rolling when the new bachelor dropped in to join them unannounced.

What really got me, however, was when pig-tailed girls who looked all of thirteen at best, gushed into cameras that the reason they love said bachelor, and the whole Bachelor franchise for that matter, was because it gave them proof that prince charming and true love really do exist, and that dreams really do come true (or something to that effect). I’m sorry, WHAT?? This is when my protective parenting and pediatric defenses collectively kicked in. Since when did watching 27 evening gown and/or bikini-clad women use their feminine wiles to compete for a man become as acceptable as, say, a pajama party?

At one time, I would’ve hoped that what I’m about to say would be obvious, but now more than ever I’m concerned that the point has been lost in two decades worth of reality TV channel surfing: Reality is what we make of it, and as parents (much less a society), we have both the opportunity and responsibility to shape how our children view it. To this noble end, reality TV is not helping – at best giving us more teachable moments about how not to live than we could possibly ever need.

Reality – in the real sense of the word – does not mean that every action one takes needs to be neatly summed up as a step in one’s life journey, or summarized in an “end of the day” soliloquy. Reality does not require every pound gained or lost or tear shed to be broadcast, nor should it involve stopping conversations mid-scene to turn to the camera and narrate to the public one’s every thought, feeling and emotion. In fact, reality should not include perpetually having cameras pointed at one’s face (unless said camera is held by one’s mother, I should add for the sake of not having this used against me by my children). Reality does not (for all but the very few who aren’t likely to read this, anyway) involve first or second or third dates in exotic lands or carefree lives limited to gyms, tanning and laundry.

And here’s the kicker. You may think all this is obvious, or harmless, or simply not a big deal. But as with the viewing of television violence, we now know too much about the insidious nature of these sorts of images and their ability to shape the way our children see the world to ignore what’s right in front of our children’s faces on a 24/7 basis. I’m not by any means saying that adorable Juan Pablo is single-handedly responsible for bullying or poor body images. But what I am saying is that what we allow our children to watch – day-in and day-out, matters. And words matter, which brings me back to my point that we really should stop calling it “reality” television!

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska

21st C Parenting: Connecting with Kids in the Age of Digital Disconnectedness

Rising to the challenge of parenting digital natives – a term commonly used to describe a generation of children who have never known a world without digital technologies – inherently means that we, as digital immigrants, have some important work to do. As a crucial first step, we need to both familiarize ourselves and then keep up with technology. After all, the responsibility falls squarely on us to help our children learn good judgment and how to responsibly navigate the rapidly changing digital world.

With the new year and new resolutions right around the corner, I figured this was as good a time as any for us all to commit to doing a better job of setting appropriate limits for the use of technology in our everyday lives – both for our children and for ourselves. After all, in today’s digitally connected world, taking a few key steps toward disconnecting can actually go a long way towards helping families become and stay more closely connected.

The following are some tips to get you started in what I hope brings you and your family a happy, healthy and technologically harmonious 2014.

Make time for face time. Today’s digital invasion of childhood is raising serious concerns, as clearly evidenced by this year’s recent recipient of the TOADY Award. This annual dishonor, given to the toy deemed most oppressive and/or destructive to young children, was bestowed upon a digital potty seat designed to allow potty-training toddlers to remain connected to their screens. For infants, young children and teens alike, face time – not the kind you can ask Siri to set up for you on your iPhone but real, in-person face time – is critically important to their social-emotional development. For infants and young children in particular, this means resisting the temptation of replacing human interaction with iPad potty seats and app-loaded infant seats (yes – this too is an actual product that also understandably ignited a virtual firestorm of digital debate). What you can do instead is powerfully simple – read books, talk, sing, make eye contact. And while you’re certainly not alone if you’ve made a habit of texting your ‘tween or teen, or emailing your spouse as the most reliable way of communicating, remember that at all ages, nothing compares to in-person, face-to-face conversations.

Take a tech-timeout. Another big concern when it comes to technology’s pervasiveness in our children’s everyday lives is that it takes away any time for boredom. While I am well aware that that may seem a particularly appealing attribute when you’re busy, stressed or just hoping for some peace and quiet at the end of a long day or start of a long trip, you may want to think again. The problem with the constant and chronic use of tech toys as boredom-busters is that boredom has long been recognized as playing a key role in fostering creativity, resourcefulness, and innovation. So what’s a parent to do? Be sure to establish times and places when cell phones need to be put away and screens need to be turned off to allow your children’s creative juices to start flowing.

Vacation planning. For anyone with holiday travel plans, or planning any travel for that matter, take a moment to consider why it is you’re traveling in the first place. Visiting friends or relatives, perhaps. Setting out to see new sights. Or simply spending time together as a family. Regardless of the reason, the fact of the matter is that cell phones, tablets, TVs and/or computer screens all have the uncanny ability to keep kids from looking up, looking out of the window, making eye contact, or – simply put – connecting with the world around them. In other words, technology (it’s non-essential use, that is) can sabotage your best-laid vacation plans. My suggestion? Plan to leave any unnecessary cell phones and other digital distractions at home. While your children may well protest at first, have a little faith. With very little practice, they’re sure to find alternative, meaningful, tech-free ways to enjoy the vacation as a result.

Declare the dinner table a tech-free zone. As the parent of three teens, I will be the first to admit that this is easier to write than it is to enforce. Nevertheless, it’s absolutely worth rising to the challenge of establishing the dinner table as a tech-free zone. With no buzzes, no rings, no emails, texts or tweets allowed, your chances for meaningful conversations with your children increase considerably – whether you have toddlers, tweens or teens.

And with that, I will leave you with my best wishes for a very happy holidays. In the spirit of both the holidays and of practicing what I preach, I now intend to shut down the computer, turn off my cell phone, turn on some holiday music, and go spend some quality time playing our family’s favorite board game (Settlers of Catan) with my kids.

Originally posted on Omaha World Herald’s Live Well Nebraska